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At what point did we decide that learning by mistakes was not the way to grow up? I was born in the late 19660’s, my childhood was the 70’ through the mid 1980’s. I look back at what I did, the toys we had and the things I failed at that taught me lessons. 

This reflection came about as I saw a YouTube video on a toy I had when I was a child. It was called the Cox EZ-Flyer.  

It was this plastic plan but had an actual motor on it.  
 

If you look closely, you can see there was a spring near the propeller. To start this engine, you needed to put the spring on the propeller and snap it quickly. The spring would snap back and spring the propeller fast enough to start the engine. Often you would get a ton of cuts on your hand, trying to get it started. I wondered what happened to the company. Like a lot of successful companies, it was a victim of both time changing, legal issues and the desire to make a profit. The only thing I want to look at is the legal part. 

The parks I too my kids to when they were growing up had some kind of rubber on the ground, slides that were plastic and not too steep, and just designed with safety in mind. Nothing like the crazy jungle gyms I had. As a parent, I looked at it; it was a safe place to bring my kids. The change was made as town, schools and parks would get sued if someone got hurt. I remember getting scrapes and bruises, but we did not think to sue the playground’s owner; we figured out how not to get hurt. If the sun was shining on a metal slide, you were not going to go down it, as you got burnt before.  

This is something that brough down Cox, as they had to put warning lables on the outside of the toy. It was not just Cox, but other companies had to remind people that there was a risk. I do not want to downplay any serious injury or death that could happen, and cases where there is true negligence, but shine the light that this inflection point had a drastic change on products, marketing and the push to non-physical, non-experimental outlets.  

I took apart AFX/Aurora cars and got mini-shocks trying to get them to go faster. I got small burns from Spinwelder. I had a chemistry set that I am sure I did some damage, as well as an electronic building kit that I am sure was hours of fun, but also frustration. And yes, I was lucky to have the drag racing toy from Spinwelder shown below. 

While these things had some element of injury, there was something to be able to play with them and learn and experiment. My curiosity grew out of this. And while you think this post is about nostalgia, it is not. 

In December of 2022, when Chat GPT was having its viral moment, I decided to dig deeper. I took the Harvard classes online to learn how neural networks were created; I started experimenting with what AI could do with software coding. I made a ton of mistakes along the way, failing to get it to do what I wanted. My constant thought was not there is a problem, but more how do I get it to do what I want. What do I need to learn, as what can the tools do to get better? 

I spoke previously about skills versus talent, and sometimes you need to pick up a skill. Learning how to navigate a jungle gym so it does not pull out of the ground when climbing is the same as learning how to prompt AI. We keep wanting AI to be safe, and AI to be consistent with answers just as parents wanted toys that were safer. They wanted the playgrounds to have less risk. The guardrails companies add to their AI models do limit it, but understanding they are a probabilistic engine means that at some point they may go off the rails. I am going to continue to play, find out what works, and what does not work. Just like my AFX Cars, my Spinwelder and my other toys, it is our imagination and our curiosity that allows us to learn and grow.  

I know that I should continue to rant about how childhoods were ruined, but I do think that the lesson here is not that, but understanding the boundaries that are there, and driving curiostiy within those boundaries. No, I did not get a Cox EZ Flyer for my kids, but I did find other ways for them to build curiosity and resolve. I also pushed them to be outside and active when they were young, and they were fortunate that social media and chatbots were not around in their early teen years. I still would have pushed them to be outside playing with the neighbors, learning through free play, unstructured time, and getting them to find curiosity.  

As I look back, my childhood has plenty of difficulties, and I failed many times to get things to work. But it is persistent, that curiosity, that has gotten me where I am today. As always, my ADHD shows up in what I write, and my logic may not follow the path you were expecting, funny thing this article did not end up the way I outlined it first.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers, have nothing to do with it. I do not write for financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not paid. But if you do like what I write, you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You can comment, but note it is moderated, and spam will be removed.   

 This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web, I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. And as always spelunz iz opshunal. 

I did an experiment on myself. I built multiple Agentic systems to interact with my daily routine and intentionally created them with a different mindset but having the same goals and functionality. If you read my previous post on having AI build a system via goal-based vs. Specification-based, I left something out; I built twin systems with different personalities.  

Open Claw has been gotten a lot of hype, and it has become AI’s VisiCalc (killer application) and playing with it has been fun, educational, frustrating and time consuming. I am not going to jump on the hype about that I am making millions of dollars using it, nor sell you that it is going to make you rich, but what I will say it gave LLMs that shot in the arm it needed to show people a tool that was not just a chat bot. 

I asked it to make me a better person and let it guide me and build me tools and interactions to help myself. But while doing it, I also built a home-grown version of Open Claw, due to security concerns etc. I also wanted to play around with the notion that a system can be sycophantic or dry. The open claw would have a personality, and use AI to have conversation with me, the home grown will use direct commands, and only return responses like “logged” or noted etc. No conversation, no personality it was all about functionality.  

Why did it do this? I wanted to test myself to see which one I would use more, which one I would use first, which one I would enjoy using more, would I quit one etc.  The funny thing I knew I was experimenting on myself, so I needed to give myself a few months of using before I settled on what I would like. I was surprised as the month wore on and what I chose to settle on also surprised me.  

From day one, I went to my home-grown system and leveraged the automated routines, as well as the slash-commands. 

It was a bit mechanical, but it worked and the results of the data entred gave me a great analysis of my data. It also helped me make some slight changes to get better. The dashboard below is what I look at daily. 

As well as a graph that really shows how my life is not 100% flat, that is a rollercoaster. 
 

During the experiment I liked interacting with the chatbot with a personality more, instead of typing /workout <enter my work out here>, and then /diet <enter diet info>, I could put some conversation in like. I did my back and bi’s today and ate a healthy egg wrap for breakfast. The AI was able to load the same data but also would respond with some personality.  

I found myself enjoying the interactions and not just logging to get the data in. Now there are a lot of other parts of the routine that I will not show, personal journal entries, acts of kindness but you should get the point.  

My first change was to allow me to enter data via plain text versus having to use the slash commands.  The response of just responding correctly with what it entered was initially a dopamine hit, but later that waned. I updated it once more to have a personality; the home grown one now acts like Open Claw that I had created a soul for. I acually was amazed at the results as I assumed that I would get bored or annoyed by human-like responses and the analytical side of me would be fine with data. What I found happening was that it was the connection to the tool that was interesting, though I still do not chat with it during the day as a person, but as my personal assistant and coach I use it when needed.  

I have set up both unique personalities. Should I choose an assistant with dry wit, slapstick humor, or a direct approach? I am interested in the answers myself.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers, have nothing to do with it. I do not write for financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not paid. But if you do like what I write, you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You can comment, but note it is moderated, and spam will be removed.   

 This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web, I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. And as always spelunz iz opshunal. 

The Incredibles is one of my favorite Pixar movies. There is one scene where Syndrome the antagonist has a line “and when everyone is super, no one will be.” His theory of life came from being rejected by Mr. Incredible and feeling unappreciated.  

Fast forward to today, where you cannot get away from hearing about AI. One of the biggest inroads is its ability to write software. We are seeing an explosion of AI-powered development tools, from code completion engines to platforms that promise to build entire applications with minimal human input. The narrative is often painted as the democratization of development, where anyone with a basic understanding can create sophisticated software. People I know, who are not techies are getting a shot at it. 

As always, this is the point where I pull those two things together. If in fact, if everyone can be a developer, what happens? Will it be that good developers become great ones? Or will it bring us to Syndrome’s belief and great developers will be indistinguishable? 

Syndrome’s plan was for him to be super on his own terms. He wanted to be the only super, and when he got bored, that is why others would finally get their chance.  Syndrome will give everyone access to technology, and it was the technology that would make them super.  

Again, this relates to the ability for anyone to download the tools and start building software. When a prompt you give an AI turns into working functionality you get this dopamine hit, it is almost addictive. These tools have ingested millions of lines of code and are able to build anything from simple screens to complex products.   

That does not mean that right now the AI development tools are perfect; there are still some issues. 

1. Is there a decrease in development skillset? If developers rely on the tools, do they get rusty? 

2. If everyone is using the same tools, do we lose creativity and problem-solving skills? 

3. What becomes the definition of a great developer?  If everyone can write decent code, what differentiates people? 

4. Who is going to manage all the code it generates? 

5. Is there code that we do not want AI to write? I 

So, are these AI Development tools going to make us all super or is this going to be like 3D TV’s and just fade away? Right now, it is too soon to answer, but these tools are right now incrediblely useful and driving a lot of excitement. I have not had this much fun with technology in a long time.  

As for the analogy, there may be some truth. Yes, these tools give people more power than they had before. It will not make everyone a super developer, but it can allow some amazing software to be built. The tools, if they continue to advance, really have the possibility of advancing the development community. Remember, these are just tools; they do not think or have judgement. If developers act like Syndrome and let their envy and superiority complex get in the way, they will never enjoy the aid they can add. In this happy conclusion, there will be no superhero to defeat the robot and Syndrome. But maybe, there is a hero in you.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers, have nothing to do with it. I do not write for financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not paid. But if you do like what I write, you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You can comment, but note it is moderated, and spam will be removed.   

 This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web, I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. And as always spelunz iz opshunal. 

In the 90’s I was working full time at a different bank than I am now, and was studying for a master’s degree in Human Computer Interfaces, or HCI. It was later renamed to User Experience, as UX sounded better than HCI.  During that time, I took lessons I learned from Bruce Lee and merged it into my understanding of UX. Bruce lee believed that you were currently at a level, and to proceed to the next level of enlightenment you need to learn a lesson. Once you learned that lesson, you could progress. His original drawing for the Game of Death is below: 

My tower describing UX development is this (thanks to Nano banana its nicer)  

My belief was that to build a great UI, you need to first understand the Data, then the users’ Tasks, and finally the users’ goals.  I have given lectures on this but just think from the original MP3 players which made you rip CDs, then copy them with another tool for the MP3 player, and a third tool on the MP3 player to listen. Very task driven. Whereas when the iPod was released, Apple thought about the goal of music enjoyment, and it was one software to acquire music and listen to it.  

In 2023 I wrote my first blog post about AI, I talked about it as a great pair programmer. It could take a prompt and write code, or I could give it code and debug it. If you understand pair programming, it was good at it. Life was good, but I did not realize that this was the “Data Layer” of AI and programming.  

Late last year I discovered Specification Based Development (SBD), in the form of planning mode in Claude code, and in open-source tool kits like Speckit. In SBD you start with and requirement, and it walks through several processes: 

• Specify – This helps you document your requirement 

• Clarify – This helps get some details about your requirements, think about things like functional and non-functional parts of the requirement.  

• Plan – Come up with a plan on how you want to implement 

• Tasks – generate small measurable tasks, that can be coded 

• Implement – the actual coding.  

I have used this in my personal coding, as it helps me get my ideas straight and often drives the final product in a direction I was not expecting.  To me this was pair programming but now with a Business Analyst helping me build a system. 

What I was not prepared for was now what is called the year of AOC. This is “After Open Claw.”  I am 29 days (about 4 weeks) into playing with it so technically it is 29 days AOC.  When I first started using it, I thought wow this is cool, and wow this has some serious security holes. I had to put this on segregated machines, and put it in front of a proxy, and use a local model on a machine we call at home the F1 Beast.  

The first thing I had it do was build a news aggregator which would take a whole bunch of RSS feeds and twice a day send me the articles I should read, and a TL;DR.  This saved me a lot of time, as I would go through a lot of articles and waste a lot of time finding great reads.  I had given it articles I like, and do not like and had it score each article on the scale of 1-10 on what it would think I like.  This was cool. This weekend I had some extra time and installed a few clones of Open Claw and decided to also build one of my own. While working on my own using SBD, the questions I was getting back got me thinking. 

Instead of giving the tool a requirement, let me give it a goal. I said “I want you to help me become a better person, friend, parent, son, brother, and human being. What can you do to help me achieve this goal?” Looking back at the Tower, I just went from Data and Task to Goal. I did not give it what to build, I did not give it any requirement other than help me reach my goal. I did this with Open Claw, Agent0 and my homegrown bot, just to see what it would produce. What all three did was research and come back with some ideas. They all asked questions, and I responded and gave me a list of things that I could pick from what to track, etc. I gave it some feedback, and the bots went and started building the system.  I was thinking the whole “Where did it get these ideas from?”  One of the final products was a dashboard (showing only limited info not to show too much) is below: 

What you do not see is the interactions to get this data. It integrated telegram commands so I can log any of this information. It also created an automated check-in where it sends me messages asking, “Did you work out yet?” or “What is your mood?” etc. I can also use some commands used via telegram to log without being prompted.   This was MVP1 (on Agent0) if you know, but they all ended up close to the same. What is interesting is that it created a calculation of how I am doing throughout the day. Yes, I only have one day of data, as it was just done yesterday.  

Some functionality I could add would be connection to my Apple Watch Data, but right now I want to enter it manually, as security is a concern.  Tabs up top which is interesting is it asked me about eating and what do I do. I said I meal prep, it asked where my recipes are, I said I get stuff from Instagram.  What it built was a way to send it a link to an Instagram post, and generate the recipe, and I could add it to a shopping list.  In Telegram and can request to see my shopping list when at the market.  I could go on and on about the functionality but need to get back to my post.  

The Power of these tools like Open Claw was not that it could build code for you, or be a personal assistant, but it could make Goal Based development available for non-developers. Could I do the same with Claude Code, Codex or Gemini CLI? Absolutely, in fact when Opus 4.5 was released one thing I tried was asking it to build me a SaaS product for generating $1,000 a month in income that was completely stand alone and that needed no assistance from me. It produced several ideas, built it, and walked me through setting up how to get payments. I stopped deploying it to production, was I would need to figure out how to advertise it and spend money driving traffic.  I’m not ready for that yet. These tools really need developers to help it, where Open Claw can interact with a user via WhatsApp or Telegram. The run on Mac Minis and Mac Studios to run it, as well as local models is crazy right now.  

So now I have updated my diagram for the AOC age.  

Again thanks to Nano Banana.  

The power of these tools is there; there are security issues, but that will be remedied.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers, have nothing to do with it. I do not write for financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not paid. But if you do like what I write, you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You can comment, but note it is moderated, and spam will be removed.   

 This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web, I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. And as always spelunz iz opshunal. 

For those who know me well, know I was a hockey dad. Ariel was involved in youth hockey from the age of three, till well let’s say she is not done at 24, she works as a referee. When she was between five and ten, one of the most important ways to improve her skills was not during practice, during games or any other structured environment; it came during some free play time.  

She went to open skate and played tag with friends; there were open hockey ice times where she and her friends could play. There were no coaches, no parents, no one judging them. I built an outdoor rink in my backyard where she could skate and play with friends. Kids could make up rules, try things they would not do in front of coaches and just well be kids. There are articles written about the importance of free play in hockey.  

But what about your job? I happen to be in technology, and it changes fast. We transitioned from mainframe to client server, to n-tier, to web-based applications over a thirty-year period. In the last three years, the tornado that is AI (really LLMs but let us make it easy) has thrown developers through a loop.  The question is how does one keep up; how do you make sure that you are staying up to date? Maybe if you are lucky where you work gives you sometimes to experiment or R&D time. Some companies give some training or allow employees to attend conferences.  

If someone loves technology, they may play in their time with what is new.  I have always found ways to play with tech; there is always something that drives me to learn.  Sometimes what I learned is a complete failure. Spending time on how to make my own cryptocurrency or NFTs was a waste of time. In 2022, a class I took on Artificial Intelligence though sparked a huge joy. Now this was pre-Open Ai’s release of GPT; the class was focused on using libraries like “scikit” and how things like Google are able to identify a person in a picture. From that class we had to build some data viewers, where I first found the Streamlit library.  This showed me how to build prototypes quickly and found instant applications for work.  

When I started to play with Chat-GPT and relalized it would write code, I wrote my blog post about the updated version of pair programming. What I was not prepared for was the massive changes that would occur so quickly. I demonstrated the AI development dozens of times at work and got interesting feedback. Now, a lot of programmers are on board, but they still think it is prompt and have the AI write code. But what happened over the past month pushed me to play deeper than I was previously.  

Openclaw (previously Clawdbot, Motlbot) hit mainstream, and at the end of January I had installed it and was kicking the tires. Like many others, we saw plenty of security issues. We also saw the extreme power this AI Agent had. This was the promise of AI.  

Over the past four weeks I decided to play with two of these User Agent Tools and build one of my own. What I learned is that these tools are here now, I did not write a code line in any of the three tools, and they all successfully built me a personal assistant health tracker. I could track if I had a good eating day, what workout I did that day, my energy level etc. I am interacting via telegram; I message it what I want it to do, and it does it. Yes, there is more I need to do, like give it a voice and add lost functionality. But the cost of building these applications, about $10 each in LLM, costs.  

But what was unreal was I did not give it requirements; I gave it a goal. I wanted to improve my accountability of becoming a better person, father, friend, son, and employee. I let the AI ask me questions and create the product. It created ways for me to interact with it so it could figure out what to build. I really could go on and on about what this technology can do, as well as where it is going, but that will be another essay.  

This is about free play; I would not be able to improve myself as a technologist without experimenting. This free play has driven me to get my team to use the tools, to bring in specification driven development versus thinking we are just coders. We are there to enable the business through software, and it is changing. The only way you can keep up is to play.  

Now there is a downside. In a quick text interaction with a friend who is in the same business, they mention they do not look at technology when they are not at work. They need a break. In fact, there are articles that were written about the possibility of “burnout” including the fact that the dopamine hit building so quickly it is addictive. Steve Yegge calls it an AI Vampire.I cannot disagree with my friend who does not want to play after work, and I assume she has the freedom to do some R&D in the office. That is still “free play” as doing R&D does not guarantee and outcome, well the outcome can be “this will not work.”  

To recap, free play is key to getting better, whether you do it during your job, or outside you need to experiment and play without needing a guaranteed outcome. Technology changes so fast that you do not have a choice but to change.  Bruce Lee once said, “To change with change is a changeless state.” in part two of playing i will go in deeper about my thoughts on AI, but for now play with it.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers, have nothing to do with it. I do not write for financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not paid. But if you do like what I write, you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You can comment, but note it is moderated, and spam will be removed.   

 This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web, I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. And as always spelunz iz opshunal. 

Recently I watched a documentary about the 1980 Olympic Men’s Hockey Team.  The story has been told plenty of times before, including some great one (Disney) to some awful ones, and even one showing from the point of view of the Russians. When the countdown for the final seconds is going, I still start tearing up, it is one of the great moments in U.S. sports and gave some energy to a country that needed it. 

Hopefully, this is not a spoiler for anyone as this should be something like “the Titanic sank,” most people have heard the story and ending. I do want to remind people of what was going on leading up to the games. 

• 1973 saw the start of the Oil Embargo  
• 1979 Was the Iranian Revolution  
• There was an Oil Shortage  
• Saw Long lines at gas stations  
• Odd / Even days, based on License plates  
• The US was in a Stagflation 
  • High Inflation 13-14%  
  • Weak Growth (wages/GDP) 
  • People felt poorer even if employed  
• Prime interest Rates were in the high teens 
• Mortgage Rates were 18-20%  
• Unemployment sat at 7-8%  
• Vietnam was looming over our heads 
• Iranian Hostage crisis where 52 Americans were held captive  
• We were at Peak Cold Ware with Russia  
• USSR Invaded Afghanistan  
• The US boycotts the Summer Olympics (in Russia) 

The US Hockey team in 1980 did something amazing in sports but did something more amazing to the US. It bonded us together, as we now had a common enemy that everyone seemed to get behind. And through college kids and Herb Brooks captured all the US. hearts. Hockey was a niche sport, it was not played in Texas, Alabama, Florida etc. The team was mostly made up of kids from Minnesota and Massachusetts. 

In my lifetime, that was one of a few events that brought the country together.  The rest of them were tragedies. September 11^th was another. The country seemed different on the 12^th than it did before. Watching that movie, the one thing going through my mind is how divided we are right now, how much trouble this country faces, but there is not one event or common enemy for us to get behind. Instead, we choose to fight each other and blame anyone but ourselves.  

This made me think, what common enemy will bring us back, what one event can get people united. It will be catastrophic, as we do not see the challenges we face as ones to unite us. The problems in this country do not have a single face to them; they are more complex. And instead of finding solutions, we chose to find anger and blame.  

These Olympics will not change anything, no matter what medals we bring home. The Hockey team could win gold, and we will have pride in their success. But it will not unite us or bring us back together. I hope we get there, and unfortunately, I do not have an answer. But I will watch this and other stories about our 1980 Miracle on Ice and will cry every time I hear the countdown of the clock and wait to hear Al Michaels famous call, “Do you believe in Miracles.” For once I hope so.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers, have nothing to do with it. I do not write for financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not paid. But if you do like what I write, you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You can comment, but note it is moderated, and spam will be removed.  

 This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web, I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. And as always spelunz iz opshunal. 

In the development of software as part of Agile and the end of each Sprint there is something called a Retrospective. This is where you review now what was done but the process or how it was done. It is an interesting technique to help improve so the next time the team does it better. When it comes to personal lives, often we create resolutions, or promises that most people stop after a week or two. This is forward thinking but not really dissecting the previous year.

This weekend, I was kind of busy but now have a three day weekend, I decided to evaluate last year but asking myself a series of tough questions, and then figure out adjustments I should make. I challenge others to do the same, and it does not have to be once a year, you can do it anytime you want to make a change. I broke it into a series of categories.

Growth

1. What was my big win for the year? What was the one accomplishment that stood out, and that I am proud of?
2. What new skill did I move from the “I want to learn that” to I added that to my tool belt?
3. What was one thing that stood in my way?
4. What did I change my Mind on last year?
5. What held my back from my potential? (could be person, challenges etc)
6. What didn’t I do because of fear?

Health

1. Did I do good enough on my diet?
2. How consistent was I on my exercise, did I improve in anyway?
3. What state is my body in the end of the year?
4. What habit should I deprecate?
5. What created energy for me?
6. What took away energy from me?

Experiences

1. What did I experience last year that made an impact on my life?
2. What did I avoid or say no to, that I regretted?
3. Did I invest enough in core relationships ?
4. What experiences made me feel most alive?

I am sure there could be more, and though i wanted to keep it short, maybe 5-10 questions, as I started writing them I realized, that I wanted to dig deeper into my year and figure out how to improve myself.

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated, and all spam will be removed. 
 
This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

In 1980 a sword and sorcery movie was released called “Hawk the Slayer.” For its time it was probably an awful movie but being a kid, we loved it.  It really was a B movie, the special effects were not that special, the story line was very trite. Now if you have not seen the movie, I will not wreck the ending, but I will talk about a few specific scenes in the movie. So go to YouTube or somewhere you can find it and watch it but it will be a good ninety-four minutes you won’t get back.  

About six minutes into the movie, you see a warrior running away from a battle struggling. We later learned that his name is Ranulf. He reaches a convent, and the sisters bring him in to heal him. A few minutes later in the movie, Voltan (the antagonist) bust into the convent to kidnap the Abbess from the convent, Ranuff tries to intervene, he has Voltan in the sights of his repeating crossbow but does not fire. Voltan in one quick motion throws a knife hitting Ranulf, and when Voltan’s henchmen go to finish him, Voltan stops them.  

I am going to fast forward a bit in the movie, as most is not pertinent to this post. Towards the end of the movie, Voltan again faces Ranulf (who has gotten help from the protagonist) as he believes he has won the battle. He says I gave you a second chance, and you have used your time wisely. This is the line I want to focus on.  

Have you ever found that you really have a second chance? How did you use it? Was it a second chance in a relationship? A second chance at work? Or a second chance in life? For me, it was a second chance in life. Not everyone knows how a football injury could have ended my life, but lots of luck, a dream and some great doctors saved me. The question I started to think about, have I used my second chance that well.  

I often focus on the mistakes I make, the issue in front of me, and yes, my mind keeps me up thinking about them. But then there are days where I take advantage of the life I built, the fortunes I have and the people I know do some good. This past week I hosted another volunteer event at the Morgan Stanley Children’s Hospital in NYC.  I am very thankful that I can get the time off to use it, that I have a great team that is willing to donate their time, and to be able to donate supplies for the children. Very thankful for the team at MSCH for allowing us to go there.  

It was a great afternoon with kids who need some cheer this holiday season. It is days like that where I can look back and say I am trying to use my second chance well. I may have made other mistakes and screwed up some other second chances. But I do try to make some people’s lives better, and I will continue to do so as long as I can. I just need to find other opportunities to do the same.  

Lastly, I am very fortunate that my daughters want to follow in my footsteps. 

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers, have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write, you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated, and all spam will be removed.  

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web, I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

Growing up, my family owned a 73 Ford LTD station wagon in yellow. This car took us on tons of family vacations, was affectionately known as the ambulance and was the first car I did any kind of maintenance on. Why do I mention this car? Well, it is the center of multiple family stories, including one. My dad was famous for procrastinating; I am sure I inherited that from him.  

When I was in high school, the car didn’t finally start. It was on our driveway for weeks. My mom would remind him to cancel the car insurance as we got a replacement car.  The weeks turned into months and suddenly it was the middle of winter. One day it snowed, so much we had a “snow day” at school.  This being the early 80’s there was no zoom class to replace it.  

My brother was bored and decided to try to fix the car. Somehow, he was able to get it started and decided to take it for a spin. My brother didn’t come home for a while. My parents got a call the cops found the car, and it had hit a pole. There was no mention of my brother.  

Of course there was damage to the car, the pole etc. And in this case my mom was pretty upset as we would be responsible for the costs etc. But in this case my dad’s procrastination paid off, he still had not cancelled insurance, so it was covered. Of all the times that procrastination causes issues, in this case it benefited us.  

Oh, now you are asking about what happened to my brother.  He apparently got out of the car and walked a few blocks and passed out in a snowbank. Making it home later.  

Why tell this story?  Well, it is an old family story, and it keeps it alive, but also puts focus on thoughts about procrastination. In this case, we had not gotten rid of the car yet. If we did, it would be different. The car being in the driveway insurance should be kept on it. But it does show that occasionally procrastination does have advantages.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers, have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising, and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write, you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated, and all spam will be removed.  

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web, I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them. 

This is week two, and normally I would move to the next question. The challenge of asking myself what energy level is still going, but it makes me think about other things. There are days I woke up with the energy to tackle anything, including tough decisions. But it also exposed days that I struggled with energy that I did not want to make any decisions complex or simple.  

Decision making is an interesting part of daily life. From what to do when you get up, to what you chose to wear, what to eat etc. These decisions can be seen in two ways. First, they can be seen as unnecessary decisions and taking energy from you. By making many of these choices during the day you lack the energy to make tougher ones. There are people who try to remove these decisions from their lives. People like Einstein, Steve Jobs and others had one outfit and thus cut that decision out.  

There are people who meal prep, like me and this takes the decision off the table. If you are focused on macros or some type of diet, meal prep is one way to guarantee you stick to it.  It also prevents the “What am I going to eat?” issue. How many times do you get home at night, open the fridge and stare thinking what do I want to eat? Or at the office lunchtime comes and you are trying to pick where to go for food, and when you get there what to get? There is a belief that these decisions hamper your ability to make other more important decisions.  

But could you train your mind to make these decisions quickly so there is little or no impact on your other decisions. Or even possible that it helps the ability to make decisions. Paraphrasing Bruce Lee, water does not hesitate when it hits an obstacle, it finds a new path. If you practice making decisions, you can become better at it. Understanding how to make small decision quickly if understanding you do not need to see every piece of information.  

You know your wardrobe and what outfit goes together. And if i is just a regular day you should be able to make a quick decision on what to wear. If you did the food shopping, you should know the food in your fridge and have meals in mind. In both cases you can train yourself to make these choices quickly. The thought is the more choices you make the better you get at it. This in turn helps you making other decisions. Your brain will focus on the keys needed to make the decision, remove the noise and have clarity in how to respond.  

Waiting for the right time or delaying decisions does not mean they are any better. But training yourself to recognize when the information is enough and how to gather it quickly so your reactions can be swift and not hasty.  Perfection never comes and I and others have written that perfection is the enemy of good. Movement is better than being stuck, and if again like water you can be agile to adjust.  

This idea of decision making all brought on by questioning my energy level, and the key is do have have the energy to make tough decisions. As I dug deep, I found it is not my energy that should drive whether I make them, but training my brain to be able to make them no matter what energy level I am at. There will be days I have no choice but to make a choice, and if I am not prepared, I have less chance of success, and worse if I am not agile, I will not be able to adjust as needed. I indeed need to be “like water my friend.”  

Please note Bruce Lee’s quotes on water go much deeper than just decision making and will leave it to my reader to do their research. This is just one part of being water. My journey of questioning myself every morning about energy will continue and maybe bring some more insights on where I need to improve. As for my meal preparation, I still think I will continue as it is not about decision making, but also about convenience.  

This opinion is mine, and mine only, my current or former employers have nothing to do with it. I do not write for any financial gain; I do not take advertising and any product company listed was not done for payment. But if you do like what I write you can donate to the charity I support (with my wife who passed away in 2017) Morgan Stanley’s Children’s Hospital or donate to your favorite charity. The fundraising site had to be restarted, and NYP Hospital made changes to their donation sites. I pay to host my site out of my own pocket; my intention is to keep it free.  You are welcome to comment, but note it is moderated, and all spam will be removed.  

This Blog is a labor of love and was originally going to be a book. With the advent of being able to publish yourself on the web I chose this path. I will write many of these and not worry too much about grammar or spelling (I will try to come back later and fix it) but focus on content. I apologize in advance for my ADD as often topics may flip. I hope one day to turn this into a book and or a podcast, but for now it will remain a blog.  AI is not used in this writing other than using the web to find information. Images without notes are created using an AI tool that allows me to reuse them.